Demented music

All of the following drive me up the wall:

• An English Country Garden.

Not sure that it's demented? Just listen to it. Even Nana Mouskouri can't make it bearable. It's a traditional song that used to be learned by every English schoolchild and perhaps still is. I learned it at boarding school in Rhodesia (demented enough then, infinitely more demented now as Zimbabwe).


• Gilbert and Sullivan. Tit-willow, tit=willow, tit-willow - what does that mean?

(The Mikado is another legacy from my Rhodesian boarding school.)


• Anything played on the pipes of Pan.

It's like nails being cheerily hammered into your head. I'd rather be a hammer than a nail... Aaaaaaargh!


• Mozart. Respect - really - but, apart from a few songs, I can't stand his music.

Absolutely barking.